- Good morning - Good morning
I lost my contacts last night, somehow
- Much better - Yeah
- Can I help you with that? - I should know how to do this
You're supposed to plug them in over here, right
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
So, Amanda, I just really
Yeah, you know, listen, you don't have to worry about a thing here
Okay?
- Okay - I mean, it was great
- meeting you, and everything - Definitely
Also, for the record, your ex-boyfriend is, in my opinion,
extremely mistaken about you
- Well, yeah, you were drunk - Not all that drunk
Yeah
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
- Oh, that's mine - Got it
Sophie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to look
I'll call her back
Coffee cups
- Here - Thank you
- You don't want one? - I should probably be going
Oh, yeah, you know, I gotta get going in a few minutes myself
So, listen
I know you're leaving and absolutely not interested in getting involved,
but just so you know, things in my life are a little bit complicated,
and even if you were staying,
I can promise you, you wouldn't for one minute
You really don't have to do this
Look, I'm sort of a mess in this area myself
and anyway, I mean, honestly, we hardly know each other
Well, I wouldn't exactly say that, but I just want to assure you,
- you're better off I'm You see - Okay
No need to go on Right
Well, I just want to be sure you are okay,
because somehow I find I tend to hurt women
simply by being myself So
I'm not going to fall in love with you, I promise
Okay Nicely put Thank you
No, it's just that I know myself
I'm not sure I even fall in love Not like the way other people do
How's that for something to admit?
Well, like I said, Most Interesting Girl award
- I'm gonna try to see that as a compliment - You should Absolutely
Right
Okay, then Well, utter honesty
Very refreshing Well, you probably won't be hearing from me
because even if you wanted to, and you clearly don't,
I have the classic male problem of no follow-through
Absolutely never remember to call after a date,
but since this wasn't a date, I guess I'm off the hook
Exactly
But what if I wanted to call you?
Right Sorry Apparently not the right thing to say at all
Well, if your flight's canceled or for some reason you change your mind,
I'm having dinner with some friends at the pub tonight
and if not, then,
well, you're lovely
So are you
(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)
WOMAN ON PA: Attention, passengers
This is the final boarding call for British Airways flight 422 to Amsterdam
NARRATOR: Amanda wasn't looking for love,
but that doesn't mean it didn't find her
Very well, ma'am You're good to go
Thank you
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Thank you, Amanda
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello? - JASPER: Where am I finding you?
- Jasper - Is it okay that I'm calling you?
I suppose so How are you?
Could we start with a less complicated question?
- What's wrong? - I'm having some real problems
with this section of my book I can use some Iris
(JASPER CHUCKLES)
Would it be awful if I send you some pages? Just tell me if it is
I don't want to mess you up, but I know that you're the only one who can really help me
No Well, I mean If you need me
Well, you know you are my little survival kit
So, Simpkey, you put on that little red bikini yet?
You know, the one that unties at the back?
How do you remember my little red bikini?
- I remember everything - Do you?
You know, just the other day I was thinking about that time that we took
Darling, I've just arrived at Soho House Meet some friends for drinks
- Oh, okay - Here, keep the change
Bloody cold over here Okay, I'm sending you the pages tomorrow
- Look for them, will you? - Yeah
- And have some fun today, okay? - Yeah
Okay
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(LET GO PLAYING)
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Graham!
- We didn't think you were coming, mate - Come on, man
Oh, no, is he lost?
Excuse me Hello
- Can I offer you a lift home? - Why?
- You know where I live? - I believe I do, yes
Good Then that makes one of us
- Your house is lovely - I've lived here 47 years
Back then there were only six houses on this block
Every year they tear another one down, not that I blame them
They weren't that great to begin with
But that's how I got confused I didn't recognize one house
That would be confusing
What part of England are you from?
- Surrey - Cary Grant was from Surrey
- That's right, he was - Yeah
- How did you know that? - Oh, he told me once
Well, I thank you very much, young lady
(GRUNTS)
Let me help you with that Okay
Yeah, I some Oh, thank you
There you go
- Well, this was some meet cute - Sorry?
It's how two characters meet in a movie
Say, say, a man and a woman both need something to sleep in
and they both go to the same men's pajama department
Right
And the man says to the salesman, "I just need bottoms"
The woman says, "I just need a top"
They look at each other, and that's the meet cute
Oh, I see
Of course, this isn't quite that cute, but
- So you're in the film business? - Was
Yes, yes, I was I was a writer
- I could be here till tomorrow - Oh, here Let me
Thank you
(IRIS GASPS)
Oh, my God
Well, goodbye, then
I enjoyed our meet cute
Well, thank you Thank you for rescuing me
Oh, it's a pleasure Absolutely
You know, I hope you don't find this strange,
but I've just arrived here and, well, I don't really know anyone,
and I was thinking of going out for dinner tonight
Well, if you're not busy would you like to join me?
Busy? Honey, I haven't been busy since 1978
I was his office boy for a year I learned everything working in his office
- Best job I ever had - Wait, wait, wait
That was your first job in Hollywood, Louis B Mayer's office boy?
Actually, my first job was as a Western Union messenger
That's how I met Mayer I delivered a telegram to his office at MGM
When I walked in, all the girls in the office were in a tizzy
Their office boy didn't show up I volunteered for the job
The next day I was on the payroll
- I was 17 years old - Wow!
- Yeah - So, was Hollywood really as great
- back then as I imagine? - It was better
You know what I've been asking myself all night?
What? Why I'm bothering you with all these questions?
I'm wondering why a beautiful girl like you
would go to a stranger's house for her Christmas vacation
and, on top of that, spend Saturday night with an old cocker like me
Well, I just wanted to get away from the people I see all the time
Well, not all the people
One person I wanted to get away from one guy
An ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me
- Sorry - So he's a schmuck
As a matter of fact, he is a huge schmuck How did you know?
He let you go This is not a hard one to figure out
Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies
and we have the best friend You, I can tell, are a leading lady,
but for some reason you're behaving like the best friend
You're so right
You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God's sake
Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years,
and she's never explained anything to me that well
That was brilliant
Brutal but brilliant Thank you
(GROANING)
I haven't had that much to drink in Oh, what am I saying?
- I've never had that much to drink - Yes I believe no one ever has
Okay, the last thing I remember, I was coming in here last night
(GASPS)
(EXCLAIMING)
- I had nothing to do with that - Oh, I know, but you were here
- I was - Oh, God So I guess we...
Did we?
- We didn't? - We did not
Oh, thank God
I mean, not "thank God", but just thank God
'Cause I didn't remember
So why didn't we Just remind me a little
Call me old-fashioned, but one doesn't have sex with women who are unconscious
Unconscious? Oh, God That must have been really attractive
Oh, why did you stay?
- Because you asked me to - I did, didn't I?
Did I beg at one point?
From the moment I met you, it's been an adventure
Oh, yes, and I am deeply sorry about that
I have nothing to say for myself other than I must be temporarily nuts right now
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Olivia Sorry, I didn't mean to look Again
I should probably take this
Hello Hi
(GRAHAM LAUGHING)
Really? What happened?
I can't I can't today
Sophie, Olivia, Amanda Busy guy
All right, listen I've got to go
Whoa, bloody hell
- I think we should go into town - What do you mean?
I think you should get dressed, we should take a drive, get some lunch,
- and get to know each other - Really? Why?
Because I'm running out of reasons why we shouldn't Aren't you?
- So you're a book editor - Yes, I am
- What kind of an editor are you? - A very mean one
No What I meant was, do you give massive notes or
Well, the better the writer, the less notes I give
- And what'd you study in school? - Literature
And did you always know this was what you wanted to do?
Okay, my palms are starting to sweat I feel like I'm on a job interview
Do you by any chance know how to be on a date?
- Sorry, I know, I'm interrogating you - Yes
I haven't been on a first date in a long time
Well, since we've already had sex and slept together twice,
maybe we can bend the first-date rules Why are you blushing?
I didn't realize I was I think you make me nervous
Okay, I'm gonna try to be myself It's never easy, but I'm gonna try
What was the question? Oh, I know
- Did you always - Did I always know
- I wanted to be a book editor? - Right
The answer is yes, I did My family's in publishing
My dad's a writer of historical fiction My mum's a
Was Is, to this day, a very important editor at Random House
- Okay I believe my time is up Your turn - Really?
Deep breath
- All right? - Yeah
Well, like I said the other night, I own a company
that does movie advertising
- I didn't realize you owned the company - That's probably 'cause I didn't mention it
But now that I know that you were raised by such a strong working mom,
I can say it and maybe you won't be intimidated by it
No, no, I'm still a little intimidated by it
Well, "a little" is way ahead of the curve
- Yeah - What about your family?
Okay, I'll say it fast
My parents broke up when I was 15 I'm an only child
and I didn't see it coming You know, we were really close
We used to call ourselves the Three Musketeers
And one night after dinner my parents sat me down,
and told me that they were breaking up
I thought they were kidding And then I saw a suitcase out of the corner of my eye,
in the hallway And my dad moved out that night
And I think I cried myself to sleep for, like
Well, anyway, a long time
And then I realized that I'd better toughen up and, well, I got through it
and, sort of, haven't cried since
I also haven't thought of that packed suitcase maybe ever
- And that's my tragic little story Let's order - Wait
You haven't cried since you were 15?
I know it must mean something awful, I know
But, you know, I try, but believe me But
- Can we talk about you some more, please? - Okay Yes Absolutely Okay
- Well, I cry all the time - You do not
Yeah, I do More than any woman you've ever met
You don't have to be this nice
- It happens to be the truth - Really?
A good book, great film, a birthday card, I weep
Shut up
- I'm a major weeper - No, you're not
I am
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
(INAUDIBLE)
AMANDA: This was such a great afternoon GRAHAM: It was a really great afternoon
You know, you don't have to walk me in It's freezing and
You can just say you don't want me to come in
No, it's not that I just No
I'm just tired I think I'm gonna take a nap
- It's not that - Okay, I'll pretend I believe you
Oh, Graham, I'm leaving in nine days,
and that makes this complicated
and I'm not sure I can handle complicated right now
Okay
- And that doesn't make things complicated? - Sex makes everything complicated
Even when you don't have it, the not having it makes things complicated
Which is why it's usually better to have it, some say
Well, I'm off to work in the morning
I promise I won't be drunkenly banging on your door any time soon
We'll see each other Okay? We'll figure something out
- Good - Good
Oh, my God It's freezing
(DOORBELL RINGING)
- Hi - Hello
- Bad timing? - No, no Come in
- How's it going? - Good Yeah, everything's good
This FedEx was leaning on the gate from a little town called London, England
A friend of mine is writing a book, and I give him
notes sometimes
- You have company? - I'm having a little Hanukkah party
What, did you join a temple since I last saw you?
No My neighbor knew I didn't know anyone here
so he wanted to introduce me to some of his friends,
and somehow it turned into a Hanukkah thing
- Do you want to come in for a sec? - All right Yeah
I can play spin the dreidel
Smells good
MILES: I just have to say, this is one of the best Hanukkahs I've ever had
ARTHUR: Hear, hear
I've had too much of the Manischewitz I'm gonna have to be cut off
ERNIE: We're all cutting you off
I take this very seriously, and I'm telling you the truth
He amazes me This guy's amazing Don't listen to them They're nuts
Okay, so you're telling me you were not a lady's man
Never I married very young
Yes, only because he had the greatest girl in town
He had to marry her to take her off the market
That's the truth
Everyone loved Marion She had the greatest laugh
What did he say? She had the greatest ass?
(ALL LAUGHING)
Greatest laugh
Although her ass wasn't so bad, either
She had real gumption She was the girl I always wrote
What about you, Miles? You're a man about town, I presume
No, gents, sadly I am not I'm just a one-woman-at-a-time kind of guy
Actually, I've been dating a beautiful actress for about five months
I do not know what she sees in me, but I know I'm the luckiest guy in the world
Oh, she's an actress! What's she been in? Anything we would have seen?
Well, she hasn't done that much yet, but
And where is she tonight?
Look, he's half-dead and he's still interested
Well, I mean, that made me curious You know, he's here Where is she?
- She's on location in New Mexico - Okay All right
She's working on a little indie film Sorry she couldn't be here
- She'll be back in about 10 days - Her loss is our gain
- Thank you, Arthur - Fellas,
I think we should leave these young folks and get back to our bedpans
(ALL LAUGH)
Okay, Norman, you are calling me for pinochle
- I got your cell I'll be in touch - Okay, pound right here
This was an amazing night
You know, Arthur Abbott is maybe the last of the great Hollywood writers
from that generation Thanks
There are, like, famous things we say because he wrote them
I know He told me that his friends wrote Casablanca,
but that he added the "kid" to, "Here's looking at you, kid"
Hello! Which totally makes the line
"Here's looking at you, llsa" It doesn't quite have that ring
He's so modest
He gave me this long list of old movies he said I had to see
None were written by him, of course I saw a couple today They were fantastic
- Maybe we can see one together sometime - That would be great
All right Cool
- Then I'll definitely call you - Goodbye
The brisket was great and those chocolate-covered macaroons, delectable
It was really fun hanging with you
Okay, I'm sorry I didn't mean to kiss you twice,
and then linger a long time on the second kiss
- No problem - Oh, boy
(MILES EXCLAIMING)
It is officially crazy weather
Don't blow away!
"I'm not sure I can handle complicated"? Oh, God, I can be such a jerk!
- NARRATOR: Amanda Woods - Shut up!
She pushed every guy away, every time
It's not, "Will she ever change?" But, "Does she want to?"
(DOORBELL RINGING)
- Surprise - Yeah, it is
- Hi - Hi
So I was home doing nothing and thinking of you,
and I realized that a little complication never hurt anyone
and then I thought maybe this isn't so complicated at all
And also I wanted to apologize
I'm sorry I didn't invite you in this afternoon
I don't know what that was about exactly, but whatever it was
I thought that I should just
Oh, my God You're You're not alone, are you?
- No, I'm not, actually I'm sorry - No! No, no, no, don't be
I shouldn't have just Oh, man
Okay, look, seriously Do not worry about this
This is just me, like, being stupid
(WHISPERING) Who is it, Daddy?
- "Daddy"? - Yes I am Daddy
Amanda, this is my daughter, Sophie
- Soph, this is my friend, Amanda - Hi
How do you do?
- I'm fine, thank you How are you? - Very well, thank you
- Do you want to come in? - Oh, no, I just
- Hi - Come here
- Daddy, who is this? - This is Amanda
And, Amanda, this is my youngest, Olivia
Oh
- Sophie and Olivia - Dad Dad
- Sorry, yes Of course Come in - Come in
Oh
Okay
OLIVIA: Daddy, can we still have hot chocolate, please?
- Yes - With baby marshmallows?
Yes
- Dad, take her coat - Yes
- May I May I - Oh, sure, thanks
- Are you married? Tell me fast - No
(OLIVIA GASPS)
- Wow - I know, I'm a tad overdressed
- You look like my Barbie - Oh Thanks
- Is that for us? - Yes
Except for I'm sorry about the wine
Wow What's this?
- I apologize for not mentioning this earlier - You're D-l-V-O-R-C-E-D?
W-l-D-O-W-E-R
Two years ago
Oh
Amanda, are you by any chance at all into hot chocolate?
As a matter of fact, I'm totally into it
- Here we go, Olivia - Thank you
Olivia, blow on it It's hot
You, too, Soph
- She has more marshmallows than me - No, she doesn't You each have five
- You have five, too - Thank you
OLIVIA: One, two, three, four, five
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
What? Do I have something on my lip?
Look There
- Oh, hello - Hello
- Go up Blow on mine
(GRAHAM EXCLAIMS)
Thank you Excellent timing
- Dad, do Mr Napkin Head - No
No, no, no, we don't do Mr Napkin Head in company
- Please! Do it! Do it, please! - Would you?
- Please - Please Okay, I'll do it quickly
- Oh, thank you for that - You're welcome Now do it
All right
- Amanda, can I borrow your napkin, please? - Oh Yes
Here you go, Dad
Yeah, you pass me those glasses when I need them
SOPHIE: Amanda, you're gonna love this
It's so funny I mean, you'll fall off your chair, it's so funny
Hello
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
Hello, my name is Mr Napkin Head
Hello, children Who's this? Who's this stranger?
- Amanda - And why has she got that funny accent?
- Amanda - Yes, but where is she from?
What I need is a
- Now smoke! - Oh, smoke
Go on
(COUGHING)
Smoking is really bad for you, you know
Amanda, guess what? We have a tent in our playroom
- Do you want to see it? - No, no No
Amanda will not crawl into your tent
You don't like tents?
- Okay, this is seriously cool - Come inside
Wow!
- Lie down - Okay
- Here, Amanda You can use my pillow - Thank you
- Lie down! - Can you please stop being so bossy?
- Lie down, please, next to me - Okay
(BURPS)
Oh, very nice
Excuse me
(ALL CHUCKLING)
This is an exceptionally great tent
- It's got something, hasn't it? - It's cozy
- Yeah Who cut out all these beautiful stars? - We did
The Three Musketeers!
- Amanda? - Yes?
- You smell lovely - Do I?
Yes I love perfume, but he won't let me wear it
Because you already smell so good
- So do you, by the way - Thanks
- But I'm older, so I guess I'm allowed - Exactly
- I like your eye shadow - Thank you
- And your lipstick - Thank you It's new
- What's it called? - I think it's called Berry Kiss
Okay, Berry Kiss it is
Berry Kiss
- Let's see Looks good on you - Amanda?
You know, if you wanted to sleep over, that would be all right
We could push our beds together
Sorry
That's so sweet of you to invite me, but maybe another time
- Would that be all right? - Yes
Good girl
We never have grown-ups here that are girls
- I know - I really like it
Me, too
I can't imagine anyone being a bigger hit with my children
They're really great, Graham
Sophie's unfortunately taken on the role as my protector
She's brilliant, but I hate it when she worries about me
And Olivia's gonna be a real ball-buster
which, I must admit, I kind of love about her
I'm just trying to figure out why you didn't tell me about them
Because I just don't usually tell women about them
But it It's just a little confusing,
because you're the one who wanted to go out to lunch to get to know one another
When you put it that way, it sounds awful
I have no defense, except that until I get to know someone really well,
it's easier for me to be a normal single guy
Because it's way too complicated to be who I really am
I'm a full-time dad I'm a working parent I'm a mother and a father
I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep
I spend my weekends buying tutus I'm learning to sew
I'm Mr Napkin Head! I'm on some kind of constant overload,
and it helps to compartmentalize my life, just till I figure this out
This past weekend, the children were with their grandparents
and when they're gone, I get to be somebody
who doesn't have hot chocolate spilt on his jeans
I have no idea how to date and be this
and I suppose there's the possibility I'm afraid of what another person might do
to who we are and how we get from one day to the next
Yeah
I guess since I am leaving in a week,
I sort of get you not telling me, sort of
I thought it would be hard to introduce them to someone I may never see again
Right
'Cause I'm just someone you had sex with once and slept with twice
Actually, I thought I was just someone you had sex with once
- and slept with twice - Oh, man
- I think we just went way past complicated - Right
I'm a book editor from London
You're a beautiful movie trailer maker from LA
We're worlds apart
I have a cow in the backyard
- You have a cow? - Yeah
I sew and I have a cow
How's that for hard to relate to?
Pretty up there
Exactly
- Morning, Jesus - Good morning
- Santa Anas? - Oh, yeah, long time now
- Hi, Marta - Hi, Iris
Hi, there
Hello
- Good morning - I counted
Nine movies are opening today
I remember when nine movies would open in a month
Now, a picture has to make a killing the first weekend or they're dead
This is supposed to be conducive to great work?
Arthur, have you always been this feisty?
Well, I may have slowed down a little, but yes
You've got to fight the fight, kid
Okay, your mail Gas company, phone bill
and you've got a letter from the Writers Guild of America, West
Are you watching the movies I recommended?
Yes! Love them Irene Dunne is fantastic
- Gumption - Oh, my God, tons of it
Arthur, don't you want to open that letter you just threw in the bin?
No They keep writing me about the same thing
- But it might be important - It's not
They want to arrange some kind of tribute to me
A night with me I don't know, it sounds God-awful
What are you talking about? That sounds brilliant!
Would you like to walk out on a stage, on a walker, looking 100 years old,
and see 11 schnooks who showed up just to see you?
They can forget it I ain't falling for this
So now what's up?
May I?
"An Evening with Arthur Abbott
"Dear Mr Abbott, having made several attempts to contact you regarding
"We have not yet received your response
(CLICKS TONGUE)
"be called 'An Evening with Arthur Abbott'
"This special night will be a tribute to your lifetime of achievement
"in screenwriting and your outstanding contribution
"to the screenwriter's profession
"Congratulations on this much-deserved honor"
Arthur, this is a big deal, you know? And they want to do this soon
Listen I reckon that with a little bit of exercise,
you could walk out there on your own
And You know, maybe I could go with you
as, like, your date or something
I would take you proudly, my darling, but I'm not going
Anyway, how would you propose to get me in shape? Seriously
Easy